If Only... Page 6

  “Silly girl.” He placed a raspberry on Lily’s cheek before turning his attention back to Micah. Once he had the little girl in check, he grabbed hold of the remaining groceries with his free hand.

  His eyes seemed to question her, gauge how she was doing, but she seemed to pass inspection. “What are we having today?”

  “All kinds of goodies.” Breathe, Micah. One kiss and suddenly she could no longer function. Apparently the frustration she’d felt had overshadowed this new emotion the other day when he came over. She might need to find something to get angry about again.

  “Looking forward to it.”

  Micah headed to the kitchen and began to organize everything to make quick work of the food preparation. Josh stood in the kitchen, making it seem much too small all of a sudden. He drew close and peeked over her shoulder to see what all she had.

  He was so close she could smell him, feel the heat radiating off his body. Lily’s giggle broke her spell.

  “Let’s see what she’s got here, Lily.”

  “Ooh! Chips!”

  “You want some?” Micah opened the bag and held it out for the little girl. Lily grabbed a handful, which with her tiny chubby fingers meant two. Kind child that she was, she shared with her uncle, feeding a chip to him. He opened wide, pretending he was a monster devouring the chip. She giggled and fed him the other chip, too.

  “You’re gonna give Joshie all your chips?”

  “He’s hungry monstah.”

  “Well, then you need to keep feeding him.” She handed Lily a couple more chips.

  “No. You feed him!” Lily, with a big smile on her face, pushed the chips back at Micah. “I scared.”

  Scared? Yeah, you and me both, kid! Josh looked at her over Lily’s head, mouth wide open, waiting to be fed a chip. Micah placed the chip in his mouth, her fingertips grazing his lips. Something flared in his eyes, but quickly disappeared. Instead he winked at her as he chomped down on the chip. Monstah, indeed.

  “Now get out of here, you two. I have some food to prepare.” She balled up her tingling fingertips before trying to shake the feeling from them. Snap out of it!

  Hanna arrived a few minutes later and together they were able to get lunch and snacks going quickly. The game had started already and the boys were watching while the girls remained in the kitchen.

  “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What was that? Come on, ref!”

  “Unbelievable!”

  The guys were shouting and yelling at the television as if the referees could hear them. The same thing happened every week. It was typical guy behavior during a football game. Josh was on his feet, one arm raised in the air as he accentuated his words to the referees, while the other arm had a giggling Lily in a football hold.

  Micah smiled to herself.

  “You would think with three of us against the two of them, we wouldn’t have to watch football every Sunday,” Sabina complained as she gnawed on a carrot stick.

  “Oh, come on. It’s a tradition we’ve had every season for as long as I can remember,” Hanna defended.

  “Yeah, and baseball, basketball and hockey, too.”

  “Well, it comes with living in Boston. We love our sports.”

  “While we are on the subject of traditions, I think we have too many. We need to reconsider some of them.”

  “What’s wrong with traditions?” Micah felt a little offended by Sabina’s comments. They always had fun no matter what they did together. Although, she was sure there would be complaints if they started attending fashion shows and operas.

  “No need to get defensive. Jeez! I was only stating my opinion. Don’t worry. I don’t think any of your precious traditions will be messed with.”

  “Hey, is the buffalo-chicken dip finished?” Hanna had her arms full of chips to take out to the guys.

  “Just about. You can take the veggies and dip, if Sabina would stop eating all of them. Oh, and the pizza bites are ready, too.”

  “No wonder I can’t stick to my diet.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

  “Yeah, you and me both.”

  “Oh, I love when you girls are in charge! We get the best football food.”

  “How about you guys pick something different than pizza next week?”

  “Like what? Calzones? Hey, Josh, we can go to that place around the corner. That chick was really diggin’ me last time.” Jamie stuffed his face with a chip overloaded with buffalo-chicken dip.

  “Yeah, right. She was so into me. Even gave me her number.”

  “Seriously?” Jamie’s brow furrowed as he sat forward and looked at Josh.

  Josh nodded, showing he was participating in the conversation, but the whole time he was playing a staring game with Lily. She sat on his lap, her little hands framing his face, her forehead resting on his. It was the cutest scene, but nothing new to Micah. Josh had always been like this with his nephews and nieces. Unca Joshie was the best.

  “Can’t believe it. I thought she was hitting on me! Man, I was really into her, too.”

  “You want her number?” Josh ended the staring game, kissing Lily on the nose. She let out another string of giggles.

  “No. Not now. I’m no one’s second choice.”

  The girls could not help it; they were dying laughing listening to the conversation between the two guys.

  “I’m at the top of your list, right, Mike?” Jamie grabbed her hand as she tried to pass him en route to the chair on his left. Instead he pulled her down to sit on the couch between him and Josh. As her thigh brushed up against Josh’s, an electric current sizzled through her.

  She held her breath and looked up to see Josh’s eyes upon her. There was nothing in his gaze that said he had felt it, too. This was ludicrous. She felt like such a fool. Of course he didn’t feel the same electricity. She was his best friend. That was all.

  She turned her attention back to Jamie. “Yes. You’ve always been my number one.”

  Micah leaned forward to grab her drink at the same time that Josh moved, causing them to bump arms.

  “Sorry.”

  “Go ahead.”

  Micah wanted to go and hide somewhere. It was all so weird between them. Why couldn’t she act normal around him? Why was she suddenly bumbling and clumsy in his presence? And she followed each with a round of awkward apologies. Surely everyone noticed the tension and weirdness happening so blatantly in front of them.

  “Josh, what kind do you want?” Sabina held up two different types of beer for him to see.

  “That one.” He pointed to the one on the right. “And can you slice up one of those green lemons and stick it in the top?”

  They all broke out in laughter, but Sabina rolled her eyes. It was a long-running joke with them. Seemed like forever ago, Sabina had made one of her silly comments about green lemons and no one had let her live it down since. You mean limes, Sabina? Josh couldn’t help but be the one to point it out while the rest of them were snickering, leaving her clueless.

  “Will you guys ever let that one go?”

  “No.” Josh came to get his own beer, because after that Sabina’s generosity had run out. “You know I can’t help teasing you about that one.”

  “Josh, one day you are going to say something stupid and I am going to have so much fun making fun of you.”

  “I seriously doubt that.”

  “No. I will.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you would, but I’m saying that I seriously doubt I will say anything that stupid.”

  “Oh, leave her be.”

  “What the—!” Josh bolted upright, causing the other four to turn their attention back to the television, and Lily giggled as he held her sideways under his arm like a football. Their team intercepted the ball and headed toward the red zone. All of them were on their feet, cheering the
player on.

  “Go! Go! Go!”

  Then suddenly, ten yards from the end zone, the screen went black.

  SIX

  “I can’t believe your television broke!”

  “Let’s not talk about it.” Josh massaged his temples, hoping to alleviate some of the building pressure.

  He couldn’t believe it. His freaking television had gone out right in the middle of the game. He’d missed the biggest play of the game because of that. He was still worked up over it.

  He took his sports seriously. Most people from Boston did. You were asking for trouble if you came between a man and his sports, and that’s exactly what his beloved big screen had done. What was he going to do about it?

  Josh nursed his Red Brick brew, trying to not let it get to him. He would worry about it later. Micah, however, was a whole different situation. What was with the looks? It had taken everything in him to stay seated when she first walked in. The look she’d given him set him on fire, pushing every one of his self-imposed limitations to the brink.

  “What’s the score? I can’t see it from here.”

  “I can’t see, either, but I think we are winning still.”

  All five of them had ditched the apartment and sought out the nearest sports bar after Lily’s mother came and picked her up. Loud, raucous patrons filled the space, but somehow they’d been lucky enough to find a table still within view of the television screens.

  “You would know if we were losing. The whole bar would be yelling at the TVs.”

  “You’re so right.”

  The waitress walked over to their table and set a fresh one down in front of him. He hadn’t ordered it, nor was he finished with his first one.

  “Thought you might want a refill,” she said in a breathy voice.

  Seriously? “Uh...thanks.”

  The waitress placed her hand on his shoulder. “No problem.” She finally looked at the other occupants of the table. “Can I get anyone else anything?”

  “I’d like a refill on my drink, please.” Micah’s snappy tone caused him to turn in her direction. She sat diagonally from him in the booth, for which he was grateful. If she were any closer, he would be coming up with lame excuses to touch her.

  Micah gave the blonde waitress a once-over, clearly not liking what she saw. He had to stifle a laugh. The waitress returned with her refill and sent a big pageant grin his way before walking away again.

  “Don’t. Even. Think. About. It.” Hanna poked him in the arm, accentuating each word. His four friends exchanged looks with each other.

  “What?” He knew all about the impending lecture that he was about to endure, but feigned innocence, anyway.

  “You know exactly what we are talking about.” Jamie leaned back in the booth, both arms up and clasped behind his head. “You do it every time.”

  “Do what?” He couldn’t stop the smile that broke out on his face.

  “Lose the innocent act.” Hanna jabbed an accusing finger in his direction.

  “You know full well what you are guilty of, Joshua Taylor. We like this place and we won’t let you ruin another one for us.” They easily saw through Sabina. She didn’t care about the place. She just hated when the attention wasn’t focused on her. She preferred being the center of attention, and he loved messing with that. It had always been a source of contention between them, but neither of them would ever fess up to it.

  “I do not ruin it for you.” He took another long draw from his beer.

  “Yes, you do!” Sabina sat forward in her seat.

  “We like this place,” Hanna pointed out.

  “Well, other than that waitress.” Josh’s attention was immediately focused on Micah the moment the words slipped from her mouth. She’s jealous. He could sense her irritation and had to bite back the grin that revealed way too much concerning just how that made him feel.

  “You know...” Hanna said, bringing Josh back into the conversation. “If you go out with that waitress, it won’t last. But her job here will and then we’ll be forced to cross this place off our list, too.”

  He shook his head at the nonsense his four friends were spouting. They were too much.

  “First of all, I’m not going to ask her out. And secondly, you guys act like this is a common occurrence. It’s only happened a couple of times.”

  “A couple of times? Why are you suddenly being so modest?”

  No one had ever accused him of being modest.

  His friends all laughed in unison. So there was some truth to it. So what? He couldn’t help the fact that wherever they went, bartenders, waitresses, hostesses would hit on him. On occasion he asked them out. What was the harm in that? He couldn’t be blamed if they all turned out a little crazy.

  “She’s not even that cute.” Jamie leaned back in his seat.

  “Yeah, she’s not worth it, Josh.” Sabina said. “Fight the temptation and just say no.”

  “C’mon. Drop it already. I’m trying to watch a game here. I won’t be asking her out. Rest assured. Your pub is safe.”

  “Yay! Thanks, Josh!”

  They all laughed again.

  * * *

  After the game, Micah mentally kicked herself for leaving her stuff at Josh’s apartment, including her car. When everyone else left from the pub, she was forced to head back to Josh’s place. Alone. With him.

  The tension in the air was palpable.

  Well, to her it was. He was acting completely normal as he threw his keys on the counter and went in search of a trash bag from the kitchen.

  Chips dropped by a three-year-old—and Jamie—still littered the floor near the couches. Half-empty drinks covered the coffee table. They had left in a hurry and hadn’t bothered to clean any of it up.

  She might as well help while she was here. It wouldn’t be nice to just leave it for him to do alone. She sat her bag back down and grabbed a couple of empty cups and reached for the trash bag.

  “You don’t have to do this, Mike.”

  Why didn’t it ever bother her when he called her that? She had snapped at Jamie for it earlier, and was constantly on Sabina’s case about it, but every time the name slipped from his lips it sounded more like an endearment than a tease.

  “I know, but let me.”

  “Fine. I’m not about to argue with you.” In one swipe of his arm, he cleared everything off the coffee table and into the trash bag. “So we didn’t get much of a chance to talk today.”

  That’s because I’ve been avoiding you.

  “How have you been? Has it been getting any easier?”

  He meant the Drew issue, but she was more concerned with the issue at hand. Which had more to do with her fingers dying to trace the lines of the tattoo on his forearm. Focus.

  “Yeah. It’s been getting better. I have a plan in place and should have this whole thing settled in no time.”

  He stopped what he was doing, rising to his full six feet. His broad shoulders dominated the space, making him impossible to ignore. His dark eyebrow arched and the side of his mouth lifted in a half smile, the very same smile that left a good third of the women in Boston weak in the knees. Man, she was going to have to add her name to that list! “A plan?”

  “Yes. I have it all worked out.”

  “Do you really think that’s the best way to approach this?”

  “Why not?” She shrugged her shoulders and got back to work.

  “How does a plan help you control the dreams?”

  She snapped to attention. “How do you know about the dreams?” She hadn’t told him anything about them.

  “Sabina.”

  A noise closely resembling a growl escaped from her before she could stop it. Sabina needed to mind her own business. Thank God she hadn’t spilled everythin
g about the dreams. How mortifying would that have been?

  “She’s worried about you, Mike.”

  “I really wish everyone would stop worrying about me. And talking about me. Mind your own business.”

  She carried the empty trays to the kitchen, and as she passed Josh, he jumped out of the way. Normally she wouldn’t have thought anything of it. But since the other night, she’d found herself analyzing every move, every look, everything. And that quick leap to avoid touching her as she passed didn’t need much dissecting. It wasn’t a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

  The slight drop in her shoulders couldn’t be helped. Giving herself a mental shake, she made quick work of cleaning the serving trays.

  * * *

  He was scared to death. Like sweaty-palms, ragged-breaths and pounding-heart scared. Being alone with Micah left him terrified that he would once again do something to royally screw up their friendship. Things had taken a nosedive since the night he’d lost control and had her pinned underneath him on his bed.

  She wasn’t the same. The phone calls and text messages were decreasing and the space between them increasing. He couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

  And the way she kept looking at him—it was really throwing him for a loop. He was aware of the effect he had on women. He could see the signals long before they were even aware they were sending them. Micah had that look in her eye and he couldn’t do a thing about it.

  First, she was Drew’s girl. Second, regardless of whatever plan she had in place, she was still in love with the guy and far from being over him. And third, she was his best friend, and that meant more to him than anything else in this world. Nothing was worth ruining that for.

  He was a trained firefighter. He went head-to-head with death all the time. He could handle being in a room with her. It was just another fire he had to get under control. No big deal.

  Just avoid touching her, brushing up against her, standing within two feet of her and looking at her.